Adios 2012

Officially halfway through the longest flight of my life – somewhere between Boston and San Fran, my mind is thinking three things. One – I can’t believe 2012 is just about over. Thinking about where we were a year ago today blows my mind. I was at my grandmother’s house with my cousins, completely heartbroken that my dear sweet mister had just left for boot camp. I wasn’t adjusting well to being by myself. The second thing I’m thinking is what in the world 2013 will bring. This year, I moved across the country, thousands of miles from everyone and everything I’ve ever known. The mister and I moved into a new house, and shortly made it a home, although I will always consider the good ol’ 207 our “home.” And the third thing I’m thinking – I’m freaking tired. I can’t wait to get back to our hotel and sleep, and sleep, and sleep some more. Being on vacation is exhausting.

This will be the first New Year’s Eve we’ve ever actually spent together, and what better way to spend it than… fireworks? Sure, sounds fun. How about fireworks over the Golden Gate Bridge? What, like that’s a big deal or something? Hahaha, sorry, just rubbing it in. Although I hate being in California, and so far away from everyone I love, without my mister and his amazingly smart little self, I would never get this opportunity. Who else gets to say they have watched fireworks at the stroke of midnight under the Golden Gate Bridge with the love of their life? Counting my blessings today, for sure.

Yesterday, I had to say goodbye to my family (including my mom, which was the hardest part, by the way). I’ve now “said goodbye” 4 times this year. I’ve also traveled East Coast to West, West Coast to East, 5 times since New Year’s Eve last year. I am so lucky, I know. Saying goodbye to my family really sucks, and there isn’t any way to sugar coat that. It just sucks. I always end up crying, and tearing up hours later thinking about it, but that’s life. Being an adult is no fun most of the time, but the few times it is fun include – right now. Living in California (although I hate California), driving up the Pacific Coast Highway 1 (to our house), watching fireworks in San Fran at midnight on New Year’s Eve (almost as good as being in Times Square for the ball drop – another life goal of mine), and taking a five hour nap in a comfy hotel bed (that’s what I’m hoping for, at least).

So although I already miss you all in Maine – mommy, sister #2, and 3, littlest sister, my nana, my new baby cousin and the rest of my fam, my second family, my best friend, and you know… whoever else I missed, it won’t be long ‘til we’re in our next stage of this growing up thing. I’m just praying the next stage happens on the East Coast (if I say that enough, I feel like the universe will just give it to me… do things like that happen?... East Coast East Coast East Coast East Coast…).

Happy New Year’s to you all. I could be all responsible and such, and say “Don’t drink and drive, be safe, don’t alcohol-poison yourself, don’t get date-rape drugged” or anything of the sort, but instead I’ll just say, see ya next year ;)

PS – We made it to the hotel. We are taking the BART into town tonight… hoping we don’t miss our exit or we’ll end up in Oakland after dark. How scary would that be? Then again, it’d make for a great blog… you know, if I made it out alive. I am in my pajamas, not napping (sad face) because I’m waiting for $25 worth of Domino’s pizza (happy/fat girl face). I’ll let you know how it all turns out.

PS #2 – My New Year’s Resolution is to keep up with my blog more than I have been lately. And also to lose weight. I think that’s everyone’s NYR at some point (or every year, if you’re me).

PS #3 – I'm glad the world didn't end this year. I don't know where that random thought came from. Don't mind me... I'm a little overtired...

I sincerely SUCK at taking pictures of fireworks, so I'll just leave you with this and promise you that I'll never capture something so awesome on camera.

Mourning on the Inside

I feel as if I should address the heartbreaking events of poor Newtown, CT on Friday. Except… I have nothing to say. No words in the entire English language, or any language, can make sense of what happened, can make excuses for the events that unfolded, and can make a grieving family forgive and forget. There’s nothing.

Mourning on the inside – that’s what I’m doing. I cannot even fathom. But “BREAKING NEWS” updates every five minutes, about his mother and his outfit of choice and the heroes and the interviews – that’s not doing it for me. All that does is bring more attention, more crushing reminder, that this is the world we live in. I’m proud of the incredible amount of support people are already providing – and knowing that there are so many great people left in the world – but I’m still crushed, afraid, frightened for everyone – that there are other people who are not that great. I just can’t think about it anymore.

Late Friday night, I watched the Dateline update where they were interviewing children, whose voices were so shaky that you could barely understand their words. I changed it to a stupid Howie Mandell game show within ten minutes, because I’d rather drown out the sounds of people being greedy on national television than be sucked into the craziness of real life. It’s sad, and I felt guilty for changing the channel, but I just couldn’t do it.

I skyped with my four year old sister a few times this past week. And when I see the innocent faces, the ages, the victims, all through the media – she’s all I can think of. She’s so innocent and sweet and has so much more life to live. As did they. And it breaks my heart, because when I hear “20 children,” I see her face. And I just can’t imagine.

I did steal this from Google Images. Please don't prosecute me.

Happy Birthday to You

Today is a special day. Today is the anniversary of the first date I ever went on with my mister… a triple date to a ghetto bowling alley with some great friends where I already knew I was in love. When they dropped us girls off, it was snowing for the first time that year – something so romantic about the first snow of the season. A kiss I’ll never forget marked the day I knew I’d met my soul mate.

That was a huge tangent for the fact that TODAY is the birthday of one of my favorite people in the entire world. And her name is mom.

At my wedding, I did a speech about how my mom was my “superwoman,” and there has never been a truer statement. She is the bomb. Do people still say that? Anyway, I think this is the first year I’ve been away from my mom on a birthday (well, except for a few years back when I was out bowling with the mister on our first date – see above – but I bet she forgives me for that one). I wish I could be home to buy her a nice strong drink or two (or three, or four) and dance our butts off, because I know that’s what we’d be doing.

Lately, being in California has been a little more soul-crushing than normal. A phone call from my princess of a 4 year-old sister begging me to come see her broke my heart a few days ago, and I’ve since been missing my family more than normal. I’m already counting down the days until I get to squeeze all of their cute little faces.

But enough about me. On a serious note, my mom is the best. A few days ago, we Skyped at 1am (my time… so 4am East Coast time in case you suck at math). We may or may not have been under the influence of a few alcoholic beverages and also eating a ton of pizza… like mother, like daughter. I'm pretty sure we "cheers"ed each other with pizza slices. I couldn’t stop looking at myself on the camera, so she got a close up of my eyeball a few times. And all she could say to her friend was, “Look how cute she is!”

Earlier this week, she found out that she got a dream job, and I am just too excited for her. There is no one more deserving. She is the hardest working person I have ever met (and the best nurse, for sure). She’s not afraid to whip you into shape, and I’m so thankful I had that growing up. When I went through some rough years in high school, where the people I thought I loved most were bailing on me left and right, my mom was there. I was a complete b@#$% to her and she loved me anyway. That’s rough, because sometimes people are b@#$%!s to me and I hate them for it. She’s been through hell and back in her life, and she still rocks it every single day. That’s impressive… when I stub my toe, I’m pissed for a week.

So happy birthday to the most kick-ass woman I’ve ever met – my superwoman. What are you, like 29 today?

PS – She also makes some awesome kids. Just sayin’…

This is my 21st birthday... she's so damn cool.

Just some more partying and dancing... kinda what we do best.

The birthday card I sent her... so much better than something cheesy and lovey-dovey, don't you agree? :)